I’m drafting this post a little later than usual; this weekend was hectic. And I’m just tired, like in my soul. Not to mention whoever said period cramps go away after childbirth LIED. I feel like the pain has been getting worse and worse every month. I’ve been really into Sage cleansing, so much that the Lavender Smudge Stick I just got is almost done. Just wish it didn’t shed so much!
This week I want to focus on the things I can control.
I’m such a huge believer in the law of attraction, it’s just lately my mind has been cloudy and distracted. I have a set of things I’d like to manifest and make happen within the next year or so; one being finishing my BA studies (just one dinky year left) and another is growing this blog. I get so caught up between this one and hazearella and I get things mixed up but I need to set a solid posting topic for them both and stick to it.
I created this blog to brain dump my mental health posts, I didn’t feel it belonged on hazearella since the theme has always been pink and girly things. I found myself reviewing things more there and talking less and less about my life. I’ve tried to change that a few times but it’s hard when stick yourself in a box. It does seem that my posts about Texas do well there ironically?! Whereas here I was free to talk about gaming, Funko Pops (even though I haven’t yet), Disney, books, anime and my own demons.
It’s National Suicide Prevention Month and when I first started this blog I did a whole series dedicated to the hobbies I throw myself into when I’m trapped in a depression spiral. I’ve thought of redoing the series, so maybe this year I’ll do just that!
So here’s my public throwing-this-out-in-the-universe notice that this week I’ll focus more on the things I want to manifest than the things I haven’t gotten done yet.
Wish me luck, this is going to be a challenge!
What is something you want to manifest this week or month?
Okay ya’ll, I know by now you probably see a theme in the affirmations I’m picking. I’m struggling through some stuff but I’m working on it. Or well, trying to. Writing has always been my therapy but I don’t feel safe or comfortable writing what I’m trying to get through. Besides, healing is a journey not a destination.
A few good things that happened this week (I have pictures this time)!
I know I missed 2 other blog posts last week and I’m hoping I’ll have time to make up for it this week; that’s just life. I got caught up in rebuilding hazearella which I’m proud of the results at the end of the week!
This was actually a quote provided by Word Swag which is an app I use for tagging my photos or if I want to put text in an image. I love the font options and they also provide quotes.
This is one saying/quote I remember hearing in high school and it really struck me. I get that moving around isn’t everyone’s cup of coffee but it’s mine. I get that traveling isn’t everyone’s desire, but it’s mine and it always has been.
I never believed in staying in one place forever. Even as a child I dreamed of all the states I could move to and all the countries and cultures I could see and experience.
A lot of things didn’t happen. Some things took years to happen. And with this pandemic my soul just aches in a way I can’t explain; I miss getting on a plane. I miss experiencing new places and new things. And now it seems like all of that is lost.
So this week I want to remind myself that it isn’t lost, it’s just going to take some time. In the meantime, focus on here and now. On rebuilding your passions and teaching Tums to find hers. I’m also going to remind myself that traveling will be much more fun once she can walk on her own (and less tiring on me)!
I also want to remind myself that just because here isn’t where you want to be doesn’t mean you can’t look for new adventures. Wasn’t I the one who said adventure can be found anywhere?
I need to remind myself that it’s ok if things feel hard; but it’s not ok to stay there. At some point you gotta get up and find something to look forward to.
What is a thought or saying you’d like to remind yourself this week?
It’s 355am, clearly sleeping isn’t one of them. At least without a sleeping aid. I’ll get that checked, some day (that’s another story for another post).
Welcome to the summer edition of this sort of feature I suppose. As seasons change so do our routines and surroundings. Self care is more of a journey than a destination and my ways of caring for myself change every now and then. It’s always interesting to see what I’ll add and what I’ll take away. And even more interesting when I don’t even noticed I’ve added something until I look back at my camera roll (please say I’m not the only one).
That pandemic is still in full force; possibly in even more fuller force? At least here in Texas it seems to be getting worse. But we all knew that was going to happen, right? Still, it’s starting to test the limits of my anxiety and intrusive thoughts. I’m honestly surprised it took 3 months for it to start itching but I still need to get it under control. FAST. Of course when there’s a life threatening virus no one can see and can be easily transported ANYWHERE it’s kind of hard to not be paranoid (my husband’s uncle tested positive very recently but thankfully his mom and himself tested negative, though I’ve heard of false results and my ocd is RUNNING TO THE MOON with that info let me tell you).
I stumbled on a blog post from writing from nowhere where she created a series of inspiring quotes in wallpaper format.
This one is currently my lock screen wallpaper. I use to change mine out every week with a new quote; it definitely helped me keep myself accountable and focused on my goals. I should start that up again!
This morning I thought of something I wanted to manifest and wanted to share it on my blog; maybe every week I’ll make it a point to think of what I want to manifest for that week or even just that day.
I admit that I absolutely tend to care what people say or think about me. Sometimes a little too much. There was a time I legitimately didn’t care cause I was either so self confident in myself or too full of myself to even believe them; I often miss those days and wonder where they went — but tbh they were the last days before anxiety crept into my life and changed everything.
It’s been over 10 years since then and my name has been dragged through the mud so much since. Between ex boyfriends and ex husbands who tell reverse tales of what really happened, to ex and current in laws who shame me for speaking about mental health and sharing my stories (which to them makes me “full of shit” and a bad mom).
I know you can’t please everyone and the ones who know you best will always know who you truly are despite what anyone says about you; but it does bother me. And it does take a lot of my thought process and healing space.
So this week, I’m manifesting the quote above; people will always have something to say about you, but what they say and what they think is none of your business in the first place.
One thing you’ll learn about me is that I’m BIG on self care. I’m a creature of routine, ritual and habit and absolutely nothing gets in the way of my daily routines.
Even back when Disneyland and Vegas were frequent vacation destinations I had a routine!
Every day I have a clear set of things I have to do when I wake up and right before I go to bed. Sure, some of these might be OCD driven but whatever, they help me get ready and help me end the day. Like signals for my body on what time of the day it is.
I’ll be honest; I had no intention of buying this Bath Bomb.
When I saw the promo shot for Lush’s Valentine’s Day products I was like that one’s a nope. They had previewed the Eggplant and Peachy Bath Bombs and they were obviously pulled from emoji’s which I have no problem with. Keep with the times.
It wasn’t until I saw someone’s Bath Bomb video that I was like: huh, that actually looks really pretty.
Granted I’m a sucker for the colors purple and pink.
I stopped taking baths for awhile because adjusting to pregnancy changes and pains were getting hard and usually when I’m laying in the bath I get really bad heartburn; I’m not sure if it’s because I’m laying on my back or what. Not to mention Baby Lo is usually VERY much active when I’m in the bath so it doesn’t help with the heartburn aspect.
But because my back has been in so much pain and discomfort lately I decided to give in and start them again. Not to mention that Bubba has been stocking me up with Lush products the last 2 trips, I think he was trying to encourage me to take more baths anyway.
I’ve always loved taking bubble baths since I moved out on my own. It’s the one thing I look forward to at the end of every day; just relaxing in a nice smelling bubbly bubble bath. Something about it just makes me feel so refreshed when I get in bed.