This morning I thought of something I wanted to manifest and wanted to share it on my blog; maybe every week I’ll make it a point to think of what I want to manifest for that week or even just that day.
I admit that I absolutely tend to care what people say or think about me. Sometimes a little too much. There was a time I legitimately didn’t care cause I was either so self confident in myself or too full of myself to even believe them; I often miss those days and wonder where they went — but tbh they were the last days before anxiety crept into my life and changed everything.
It’s been over 10 years since then and my name has been dragged through the mud so much since. Between ex boyfriends and ex husbands who tell reverse tales of what really happened, to ex and current in laws who shame me for speaking about mental health and sharing my stories (which to them makes me “full of shit” and a bad mom).
I know you can’t please everyone and the ones who know you best will always know who you truly are despite what anyone says about you; but it does bother me. And it does take a lot of my thought process and healing space.
So this week, I’m manifesting the quote above; people will always have something to say about you, but what they say and what they think is none of your business in the first place.
Okay call me obsessed, but! Back when I played Animal Crossing Wild World on the Nintendo DS back in 2006 I had an Animal Crossing blog — I don’t remember what it was called or what the URL is but I really wish I did!
I was so obsessed with the fact that you coulda catch and collect bugs, fossils and fish. Not only that but this owl who runs the museum you donate these things to tells you these really small cute facts about all of them! I played for years, almost daily, okay pretty much daily. And I maxed out my town. I even went out and bought a GameCube to play the first Animal Crossing game. When I say I was obsessed, I was o b s e s s e d.
When Animal Crossing New Leaf came out around 2013, I did the same thing. I think I have ACWW with me here but I’m not sure. I do know FOR SURE that ACNL is in my DS.
I played Animal Crossing City Folk and that feels like it was forever ago. I skipped Animal Crossing Happy Home Designer but I did get Animal Crossing Amiibo Festival which was really just a huge ass board game.
Then I told myself I wasn’t going to get a Nintendo Switch until they announced a new Animal Crossing game and when they did, I gave in and bought one.
Gaming is so different when you’re older and have a kid. I can’t just drop $60 in hopes to like a game like I use to. Now I take SO LONG wondering if I’ll like a game and if I’ll realistically commit the time it takes to play it and a million other things before actually BUYING a game. It sucks. I miss the more carefree days lol.
At the start of this year I was annoyed that my birthday landed on Easter; I hatewhen my birthday lands on Easter cause that means everything is closed. So I usually opt to go on vacation for my birthday instead to avoid this.
So I booked a trip to Vegas (where I haven’t been back to in about 13 years) considering I haven’t left Texas since I moved here almost 4 years ago and I am in desperate need to get out and go on vacation. Not to mention last year my birthday was not something I’d like to look back on considering I was suffering from heavy postpartum depression and everyone was acting like they didn’t know wtf it was, so I suffered kinda in silence for a few months.
Then the quarantine happened and all of us hot headed Aries folks are now stuck at home. To celebrate in our houses.
My 35th birthday was yesterday, unfortunately I was unable to make sure I had this post up by then because it was a crazy week. I swear now that Tums is a year she has like this endless storage of energy. I’m gonna have to come up with more things for her to do/spend her energy on! The problem is our apartment is smaller than our other apartments so she doesn’t have much room to play and run around; I know we were looking into a 2 bedroom soon and I think it might be time for that now…
This year is just zooming by already; I can’t believe we’re in April.
March wasn’t a good month, and I’m sure a lot of other people can relate to that statement. Besides the whole Coronavirus thing going on which is freaking everyone out, causing panic purchasing and forcing everyone world wide to stay home — we were hit with the flu a week before it all happened. I don’t usually have more than a 48hr flu, if even that. So the fact I was down and out for a whole week is insane. I haven’t been that sick since I was a kid. And tbh I barely ever got sick — until I got married and had a kid. Now I feel like I’m always sick and I fuckin hate it.
But I had to include a blog post for Tums First Birthday.
It’s hard to believe that yesterday I went in for another sonogram check and at the end of the appt they told me I’d have to be induced, possibly that day. So they sent me home and I had Olive Garden to try to calm my nerves. Got a call mid lunch of them saying they wanted to induce me… IN SIX HOURS. I hadn’t even packed my hospital bag yet cause I was suppose to still have two weeks! The reason they were inducing me was because Tums was measuring as “small” and she wasn’t growing at the rate she should had been at. They worried she wouldn’t survive if they kept her in there so, induction time!
I frantically had to finish laundry, pack my hospital bag, make sure I didn’t forget anything and try not to throw up from anxiety and fear. Man, it was ROUGH let me tell you. Especially because I heard SO many awful stories about others being induced.
So we went to grab dinner since they said I could eat up until midnight while they prepped my room. So we get settled in and they decide to check where I’m at before anything happens — I somehow jumped from 1 to 3cm dilated in like 2 days. So since I didn’t have to do that cervix balloon thing they sent me home and told me to come back at 6am. I remember telling Bubba I was getting slight cramps, girl those weren’t cramps lmao!
I remember to do this dang post lmao. I have no idea why I tend to forget about it all the time when I’m constantly bookmarking either blog posts to read later, come back to later or ones I just find interesting. I thought to create this weekly feature to share some of the blog posts I’ve found during the week!
I know with the whole world-on-lock-down going on a lot of us are having to cancel and miss out on things we’ve been looking forward to like vacations and celebrations. A few of my friends had to cancel their weddings and we had to cancel Tums first birthday celebration (though I think I’m going to do a Facebook Live of it, not sure yet) as well as my birthday celebration to Vegas (after not being back there in 9 years, sigh).
Despite that I’ve actually been really into looking at travel blogs and travel pinterest accounts as inspo for where I want to jet off to next… and dream about going on vacation lol.
Bubba got the flu last Saturday and he passed it to Tums who then passed it to me. Bubba seemed to get over it the quickest at like 2 days. Tums took about maybe 3 days and I’m still sick a week later. I’m starting to feel a little more like myself every day; minus the dizziness and not being very hungry.
But at least the fevers for me only lasted about 2 days. Every time I ate I felt like throwing up and the dizziness came around day 4 and still hasn’t left. It’s not like super extreme or anything but enough to be annoying. I’ve been trying to get as much rest and sleep as I can (something that’s hard to do with a baby who can’t self soothe yet) and forcing myself to eat. I’m awful when it comes to liquids mainly because I HATE water but I’ve been trying to drink juice and eat more soup, at least.
Getting the flu always feels like you don’t remember what feeling well feels like lmao, it’s so weird. And it definitely puts you in the I’ll-be-better-with-my-health plea to the universe.
So, here’s how I plan to be better at being healthy;
I feel like Feb might had been longer than Jan this year. I have no idea why. But I made a lot of changes and jumped into a lot of things in Feb that I’m pretty surprised at myself of. I’m still trying to remember who I am as a person (damn you postpartum depression) and trying to re-find my footing and balance. Of course with a damn near one year old (WHERE DID THE YEAR GO) it’s a little more challenging than I’d like.