Now fall

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Final Fantasy XIV just announced Blue Mage.

I started playing Final Fantasy XI back in 2004; I knew what “Final Fantasy” was I just didn’t care much for it. I’ve played video games since Nintendo and Duck Hunt and I’ve always been attracted to the shorter Mario games or DDR or fighting games.

But RPG’s? Things that required me to invest time?

Nah.

I was dating a guy at the time who was heavy into all kinds of games. And I was one of those girlfriend’s who didn’t exactly complain when they’d spend 16hrs on a game but I just didn’t understand why either. So one day he shows this emote TaruTaru’s had on FFXI that was /panic and I fell in love! I thought it was the cutest thing ever!

My first character on a Final Fantasy MMO was a girl Taru named Ihiphop. I ended up so much more invested in the game I ended up signing up for my own account. I recreated her as Ihiiphop and a boy since my bf at the time only played female characters and you’re able to get married in game but it had to be a boy and a girl (FFXI didn’t support same sex marriage at the time). Over the span of about 8 years Ihiiphop did his White Mage thing until I decided I wanted to be a cat girl and so Cheshiire was created as a Monk.

I ended up quitting FFXI because life got busy and all my friends started quitting. Eight years is a pretty good run anyway.

I won’t lie, there are a lot of times I miss FFXI so much and my friends — I still keep in contact with some but I’ve lost touch with lots of others.

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Mental Health: & Gaming

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I’ve always been a bit of a loner and when I was younger this use to really really bother me; not feeling enough. Being that friend that just wasn’t enough: Not popular enough, not pretty enough, not interesting enough, not socialable enough… and often times my long time friends would ditch me and completely cold shoulder me once they jumped into a new group of better and cooler friends.

There are literally a handful of people who have stuck by me my whole life and who are still some of my most dearest friends today.

As I got older, I started to care less about fitting in and cared more about writing. About making time to play video games (I was really into the DDR scene in high school). About working to fund these DDR events. I cared more about being different, about standing out and I cared way less about what anyone thought about me.

I’ve always dealt with depression, at least since I was 13 and I had really bad anger issues at 16. The two mixed together always turned into an epic disaster.

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