Monday Mindful Manifestation

I stumbled on this quote on Pinterest last week. I’m not sure if this is actually something I can manifest but it’s something I can definitely consider. Well I guess I could manifest it too.

I use to be a pretty open book; I don’t add people to my FB unless I know them or know I can trust them. When I added my in laws my mom told me to either delete them or to stop talking about my mental health. She was afraid they’d think I was crazy. I told her not to worry and they don’t judge like that. Not to mention one of my husband’s sisters works in mental health.

What I didn’t know was that they were pretty selective lurkers. It seems like they’d catch a gist of my post but now the whole thing. So in January when his mom and sisters targeted me, his adopted sister in law and his adopted brother in law, his bio sister who works in mental health and his mom had a lot to say about my mental health. Saying I was full of shit and I was crazy and basically everything my mom warned me about.

Granted this is the second time in laws have done this to me.

Don’t you just hate when your mom is right?!

But there are so many of my friends that message me thanking me for being so honest and transparent about the things I struggle with because it helps them feel less alone. Because it helped them sort out their own feelings about a similar situation. And I end most of these posts on a positive note.

Ever since I was diagnosed with OCD, depression and mild anxiety I wanted to change the conversation. I hated how my ex husband thought I was “making it up”. I hated how hard it was to find info on OCD and anxiety back then (think the days before Google). I read every article I could find, every book. To try and understand why this was happening to me. If it was cureable. If it would ever go away.

How could your brain just break and how do you unbreak it?

I didn’t like how alone I felt, and I don’t want anyone else to feel alone. Anxiety is already a very unkind friend living in your head. Just be fuckin kind to other people. I’m pretty sensitive when someone attacks me because of my anxiety. And I’m most likely going to cut them off forever because they are literally not my type of my people and definitely not my audience.

Because of this I have scaled back on posting on FB at all. I don’t even know the last time I posted a picture of the kiddo. And tbh, that’s unfair to my mom.

So I could remind myself that writing about what hurts helps people.

And all I ever want to do is make people feel less alone. Less misunderstood. It’s just so hard to write when I’m constantly wondering if they’re lurking my stuff for more shit to talk about me. And yes, it shouldn’t matter. But it makes me so uncomfortable.

Last time this happened it was the final straw that made us consider a divorce, it got so bad I tried filing for a restraining order against my then mother in law and sister in law.

But this is something I struggle with every day and it fuckin sucks.

Friday Finds

The weeks are just zooming by I feel like. We’re already in the ninth month of 2020. But it feels like 2020 has been going on for like 20 years itself. I’m not stressing about “the new normal” as much now as I was in the beginning, but I am still paranoid and stressing over how to keep myself and the kiddo safe and healthy. The problem is we can take every precaution and a 3rd party member can just ruin everything for us.

This week Tums as been watching someone named Blippi over Daniel Tiger so I guess I can’t be that mad. He’s less annoying that Daniel. She also WALKED ON HER OWN this week!! I’m so proud of her!! She takes small steps by herself on the bed when she’s watching her cartoons but if you ask her to do it she’ll definitely act like she has no idea what you’re talking about. We settled on an apartment to move to, thank goodness. Heard my mother in law has been asking my husband where we’re moving to and it’s seriously making me uncomfortable.

Maybe I should just start weekly recap posts cause this is already way too long lmao.

ON TO THE LINKS;

Continue reading “Friday Finds”

4 Blogging Apps I Swear By

When smartphone’s became a thing I remember wishing for a phone that I could blog on. This was still years in the making but as technology started to creep that way, it took longer than my impatient self could handle. Now that we actually can blog from our phones has been such an amazing thing to witness and realize that technology, no matter how long it took, has come a long way.

With that said; here’s 4 mobile app’s that making blogging that much easier.

Photo by PhotoMIX Company on Pexels.com

WordPress App

This one should be super obvious! I’m not a fan on the new WordPress DOT com editor as sometimes it will lag or freeze my laptop. But the fact I can either draft or just write down a whole post if I wanted to, I could is just SO much easier! I also found that you can even attach your domain hosted blogs from another provided!

It wasn’t until maybe around 2012 when Smartphones allowed you to actually blog and it was through the browser. It’s so crazy to see how far technology has come. And how long I’ve been obsessed with blogging. Now that there’s actual app’s that allow you to fully write, customize and schedule your posts all from your phone still blows my mind!

The WordPress app is so helpful and if you use either WordPress DOT com or DOT org I highly suggest it!

Continue reading “4 Blogging Apps I Swear By”

Monday Mindful Manifestation

Resurfaced situations suck. There’s no way around that. And despite how respectful or kind you are to someone; they can still belittle, disrespect and drag your name across the mud and the reality is there’s nothing you can do about it. I always say “people will be people,” as in, they’ll always be who they ARE regardless of their situations, environment’s or the kindness they get from others.

But knowing this doesn’t help that I get anxiety over certain things. That I sit up wondering why someone doesn’t like me if I’ve never done anything to them. And this is something that’s haunted me pretty much my whole life. People won’t like me because of a third party source. I grew up in a place where people wouldn’t like you because they wanted your man. They didn’t like you BECAUSE you were “too nice”. So growing up with that constant reminder made me super guarded.

But when people who trust do it to you; it’s a whole different kind of hurt and anger. Despite knowing these people are just who they are and best thing you can do is put distance between you and them. Some people will never be honest, will never own up to why they did something to hurt you. And that SHOULD be none of your business in the sense that holding on to something expecting an answer only hurts you. And not at all them.

There are a lot of things in life we can’t control. But the things we can control; like how we react to situations. The fights we show up for. Not letting bitter people make you bitter as well. Finding your own peace. Are things we should spend more time and energy on. I know it’s easier said than done, I literally have to actively choose the road of positivity. While you seem to just auto cruise on the road of negativity. But it’s another thing that’s mainly a journey and not a destination.

So this week I will focus on the things I CAN control and not give so much time to the things I CAN’T control.

What do you hope to manifest for yourself this week?

Friday Finds

This week has been a bit of a blur and emotions; I’ve been waiting for my clarity to come back and now that it has slowly started creeping in, so have other thoughts and memories and emotions. My dad’s birthday was also this week. Adult things are stressing me out from when I somehow just didn’t adult.

I’ve also spent most of this week focusing on SEO, social media marketing, especially with Pinterest. Although I have 10+ years of experience in blogging and social media and even though I graduated in social media from Full Sail University (in Dec of 2015, it’s been awhile), social media and the world of blogging is always changing and with everything that’s happened in the last few years… I’m trying not to beat myself up about falling behind. The important part is that I’m back to wanting to LEARN the new systems.

〉I invested in some of Ell’s courses and I’m only 60% into the Pinterest one, it’s full of so much information it’s making my head spin. In a good way! She offers 3 free courses if you’re looking to update yourself as well!

〉I’ve also been slightly slowly prepping for NaNoWriMo this year; I had the urge to start a story a few nights ago on a whim. Which literally hasn’t happened in about 6 years. So I’m pretty excited about that. I signed up for Swoon Reads and I’m hoping to craft a manuscript before they open up for submissions again.

〉ICYMI I posted a book review, I’m pretty psyched about this as well.

I also got back into YouTube… well slightly. I’m getting there. I don’t have a set schedule for posting since I don’t have all the time to make videos like I use to, but I’ll figure something out.

〉I’ve been reading up on blogging and niches from Twins Mommy, a blog I stumbled on through Pinterest.

This week has been a bunch of reading, researching and learning. Hopefully next week I’ll have some fun links to stumble on that I can share!

Did you stumble on any interesting reads this week? Let me know in the comments below!

Book Review | The Will and the Wilds by Charlie Holmberg

The Will and the Wilds by Charlie Holmberg
Release Date
: Jan 21st 2020
Genre: Young Adult > Fantasy
Source: Kindle Unlimited
Summary:

Enna knows to fear the mystings that roam the wildwood near her home. When one tries to kill her to obtain an enchanted stone, Enna takes a huge risk: fighting back with a mysting of her own.

Maekallus’s help isn’t free. His price? A kiss. One with the power to steal her soul. But their deal leaves Maekallus bound to the mortal realm, which begins eating him alive. Only Enna’s kiss, given willingly, can save him from immediate destruction. It’s a temporary salvation for Maekallus and a lingering doom for Enna. Part of her soul now burns bright inside Maekallus, making him feel for the first time.

Enna shares Maekallus’s suffering, but her small sacrifice won’t last long. If she and Maekallus can’t break the spell binding him to the mortal realm, Maekallus will be consumed completely—and Enna’s soul with him.

Amazon* | GoodReads

Ironically Charlie’s book Magic Bitter, Magic Sweet has been on my TBR for… way too long. And somehow I jumped to this read instead. I don’t… I don’t know why. But the cover absolutely caught my attention.

I wasn’t in love with this read, but for some reason I could not stop reading it! It’s like I needed to know what happens to Maekallus. Who’s memories is he seeing? What’s the deal with Enna and her dad? We get the answer to some of these questions I had, but not all of them. As far as I know this isn’t part of a series. But I feel like it definitely should be!

This author definitely has a talent for making you feel like you’re in the forest with them; despite this being a stand alone read the descriptions and time spent with the creatures make it feel like you have a good understanding of who they are and what they are. It was full of curiosities and stories within stories.

There is something strange about both Enna and Maekallus which is what I think makes them a very interesting pair. I do wish they went more into Maekallus life as well as Enna’s grandmother considering she sort of plays a big part of Enna’s story without actually being there. The theory behind Enna’s dad’s condition also triggered my interest. Towards the end Maekallus experiences a pretty significant shift and that made his interaction about Tennith so much more entertaining!

Tennith shifts his weight to his back foot. “What I mean is . . . I never approached you—”
Maekallus barks a laugh, but there’s a sharpness to it that seems to echo against my ribs.
“This is intriguing.”

“—but I noticed you. Of course I did, though you didn’t go to school with the other girls—” I feel like my very bones are curling in on themselves.
“Tennith—”
“No, no.” Maekallus folds his arms. “Let him continue. Please.”

It’s so hard to talk about this without spoiling any part of the story but omg. I really just want to lol! I spend most of the book not knowing how I felt about Maekallus and by the end of the book I completely adored him!

If you’re into fantasy paranormal books rich with lore I highly suggest this one!

* this post contains affiliate links

Monday Mindful Manifestation

Annnd I’m back!

This week has been a bit of a blur; I did manage to finish some books which is always good but now I’ve dove into the never ending hole of ooh let’s add this to the wishlist crap. I still have high hopes I’ll finish a few more of my Fall TBR so I can move on to a few retellings in September.

I’m going to save the small weekly recap part of this post for the end because the photos came out a bit larger than I expected.

I have a tendency to do this; I dream big and I plan big and tbh some people find that uncomfortable or outside of THEIR comfort zone and project that on to ME making me feel like my plans, goals or ideas are too big and honestly who gets to say that about someone else’s life? Ironically I’ve found that the people who’ve never chased a dream, had a BIG idea or moved away/refuse to move away from their comfort zone are the exact people who will make you feel like you’re wrong.

It’s hard to know who these people are because they can be anyone in your life without you even knowing it. And if it’s someone whos opinion you value, it’ll influence you to rethink your goals. And honestly that’s not going to help anyone. I’ve learned that suppressing your dreams to make someone else comfortable kills a part of yourself.

I need to realize that it doesn’t matter WHO someone IS in my life, if they have the audacity to make me feel small knowing that I DREAM BIG (always have, always will) then they’re not the people I need to be speaking to.

I try to surround myself with like-minded people and people who are either on their way to where I want to be or who have been there. It helps to surround yourself around people who have the same goals as you, to bounce idea’s off of or just to talk to and vent to on the day it seems like a lot.

This is my intention for the week; to remember that not everyone wants to see you win. And that’s fine, just make sure to not let those people get you down.

Continue reading “Monday Mindful Manifestation”

It’s Monday, what are you reading?

Okay it’s actually Tuesday but WORK WITH ME HERE!

It’s been YEARS since I’ve done one of these! I’m kind of excited to do one today!

WHAT I READ;

I really wasn’t expecting to finish this before I finished this blog post lol but here we are! I super enjoyed this read. It’s not like it was gripping or amazing but I just literally could not put it down!

CURRENTLY READING;

I really wanted to focus on getting through my Kindle Unlimited borrows but I also need to get through my Fall TBR also. So this week I’ll be trying to focus on:

  • Shadow of the Fox by Julie Kagawa
  • The Bookwanderers by Anna James
  • The Time of Green Magic by Hilary McKay

I don’t really know how I’ll do considering my reading habits aren’t what they use to be lol. But I’m glad I’ve been finding time to read more lately… I also need to catch up with my GoodReads challenge since I’ve fallen 3 books behind. Eep.

What are you planning on reading this week?

“Time won’t wait for you,”

Something my dad constantly, as in every single morning, told me as he was waking me up for school and as I struggled to want to even be alive. And despite how frustrated I made him, he never yelled or got overly mad.

But this is something that has stuck with me my whole life.

It might had contributed to what I call my White Rabbit Syndrome where I feel like I’m constantly racing against time. WHO KNOWS.

The last time I saw my dad; Dec 2013

Today marks one year since my dad passed away after a 8 year battle with Cancer. Whew, counting that blew my mind. While death from Cancer is never a positive outcome, obviously, he was lucky to had lived that long. My dad had his own anxieties that showed up when I was really young. He was obsessed with the fact that he was dying long before he was even diagnosed with Cancer and that was hard to deal with since he’d use it as a reason against an argument or that “I don’t feel good, I might be dying, I don’t know,” I almost feel like being diagnosed brought him some sort of weird anxiety relief.

And at first, it didn’t see so bad. He had radiation therapy and he was constantly sick but it wasn’t anything that seemed like it would disrupt how our lives were normally lived. So I’ll admit that for the first few years it was hard to imagine there was Cancer because nothing really changed. He wasn’t losing hair or weight or anything. A year after he was diagnosed I got my job back at Disney World so in 2013 I moved back to Florida. We came back to visit that December. In October it was my dad who called and told me that my dog passed away. So to be there without him that year was really hard for me.

I never went back after that. I never saw my dad after that.

And that will always be the hardest thing to swallow.

Continue reading ““Time won’t wait for you,””

Seriously Geeky Sundays | Animation

Okay I’m not doing these in order but IT’S OK! Heather at Geeking-By hosts Seriously Geeky Sundays on her blog! It looks super fun and I just recently discovered it!

I’m starting with the topic of Animation!

  1. What is your favourite Disney movie?
    Ooh, this is tough! I have a lot of favorite Disney movies! It’s between Tangled, The Nightmare Before Christmas, Alice in Wonderland and Return to Oz — which isn’t animated but eh.

  • What is your favourite non-Disney movie?
    I have feel good movies like 13 Going on 30, Serendipity, 27 Dresses… but lately I’d have to say it’s The Greatest Showman!
    Dangit, you meant animated didn’t you? Anastasia!

  • What is your favourite animated show?
    I personally find it ironic that my response for this is an anime: Fairy Tail
    Also The Devil is a Part Timer and Yuri on Ice were some other favs.
  • What was your favourite childhood show?
    Doug, Reboot, Gargoyles! Mostly stuff from One Saturday Morning. I miss that!
    I had a lot! One I can never find anything on is Princess Gwenevere!
  • Who is your favourite animated character?
    I collect all things Cheshire Cat and Buzz Lightyear.
  • What is your favourite piece of music from animation?
    History Maker from Yuri on Ice
    Friends On The Other Side from Princess and the Frog
    Be as One from Fairy Tail

This was so fun to do! You can join in whenever you want to and if you’re big on animation I’d love to see your answers! Also, I stopped doing the gif’s cause it started to lag with the new editor. Whomp haha.

Happy Sunday!